Mid-Mensan The Newsletter of Mid-Hudson Mensa

April 1997

I can't believe it's time for another column already. It seems I just got through telling the editor that I don't like to do columns and he's already pestering me for another one. Oh well, this is just one of the sacrifices I make for Mid-Hudson Mensa.

The executive board of Mid-Hudson Mensa met recently to go over the usual bureaucratic stuff, and we got on the usual subject of Mensans we don't know and wish we did. Your treasurer, Nancy, has been a Mensan for longer than I have (16 years for me - all in the Mid-Hudson region), and we were bemoaning the fact that there are many of you we haven't met. I'm sure you are all good and worthy people so we'd like to meet you. If you feel it's too far to drive to Poughkeepsie for a meeting, then call Bill Zigo and tell him the name of your favorite pizzeria. He'll be glad to schedule an event there (and we hope you'll show up too). For those of you who are West Point Cadets, we'll even drive down and take you out for pizza if you let us know where and when. Buster, our security advisor, will even condescend to go with us in the car providing he can eat the pizza crusts.

We are a talented group. Last month I told you about getting Juno courtesy of Joanne Schultz. Most of you haven't taken advantage of this fact. I didn't receive scads of e-mail from you at BetsyB4@Juno.com. Thanks George for sending me a message. This month I'd like to thank Alan Hauck. The drawing of me at an easel was done by Alan. I needed a drawing I could use for a quilt square for an art teacher friend who just retired. Alan was kind enough to design this for me.

Buster's two scents worth: Have you people looked at our home page yet? I'm told it's quite good. It has no cats but does have Fifo and marmots. It also lists events we hold. Check it out. I can't see it yet as Betsy's too cheap to sign up for any on-line services. I don't know why not. She's got plenty of disks that offer 50 free hours. Any suggestions as to which on-line service she should use?

It's renewal time! Did you remember to renew? If your name is highlighted in yellow on your newsletter mailing label, it means you either haven't renewed yet, or that your renewal hasn't been processed yet. If the former, this will be the last issue you receive until you renew.

Since cloning is currently quite topical, I suppose it's better we get that subject out of our system now. This month's cover art, by Eric Kollenberg, was based on a lunchtime conversation a few weeks ago. Eric also did the artwork for the ad from our "sponsor". The idea for that particular product came from yet another lunch discussion, this time with Ron McMurdy. Eric's third contribution this issue is the annual "April issue" Living Smarter, which, I hope you realize by now, should be taken just a little bit less seriously than in other months.

[In past April issues, we've shown you how to clean your house, groom your lawn, and teach your cat how to rule your domicile. This time, Eric Kollenberg teaches us how to take care of our cars. Take it away Eric!]

The automobile is an essential part of modern life. How well you take care of your car can have an major impact on your happiness and well being. A car that has been neglected can leave you stranded or even involve you in a deadly accident. But a car that is properly maintained and cared for can drain your bank account as well.

To keep your car running at its best, you should understand some basics about your engine. If you were to lift your car's hood, you would see a jungle of hoses and wires. These are there to provide a nesting place for crickets--which is why your engine sometimes makes that annoying chirping noise. Underneath all of these tubes and cables is the actual engine, which is only a four inch cube. Essential parts of the engine are the carburetor, the procrastinator, the midget, the flint, the kelvinator, the nebafram, the Johnson rod, the muffler bearings, and the little silver thing that the big fat wire goes into. Never touch any of these.

Probably the single greatest contributor to a car's longevity is regular oil changes. If a premium motor oil is not available, pretty much any thick, black, oily substance will do. Espresso, in particular, makes an excellent substitute for motor oil (and vice versa). Incidentally, bourbon makes a good substitute for windshield washer fluid, although this can get you into trouble at roadblocks if you are driving a convertible.

Filter changes are also important. Pay particular attention to the fuel filter, the oil filter, the gas filter, the high-pass filter, the water filter, the air filter, and the coffee filter.

If you follow these steps carefully, your car will give you many happy miles of safe, secure motoring - sometimes as many as twelve. However, when the inevitable breakdown does come, you may have to rely on a mechanic's expertise. Many people fear being taken advantage of by unscrupulous mechanics, but how you're treated by them depends largely upon how they perceive you. For instance, if your mechanic suspects that you do not work on your own car, he will think you are ignorant and naive, and will cheat you for every penny you own. On the other hand, if you let him know that you do work on your car, you can be sure that he will perceive you as a threat and a know it all, and will cheat you for every penny you own. The best strategy is to claim to be Barznon, Supreme Emperor of Mars, and he will perceive you as a dangerous lunatic and try not to upset you. At least that's what I always do. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go change the air in my tires.

Easy:

RXMVGCRZX RY NQLX DZO QGIL WZXLD CZ

HOSX GXK JGX'C GMMZSK CQL WGCJQLY.

Hard -- no punctuation, groups of five:

GENMN FOGEN WINMV NEJNV OOSJT FRGGL

PNFJT NMVOP TFPVP LGNOE PFAAQ GYLMG

IGSPO

Answers near the end of this newsletter.

Is anyone interested in starting a salon? Several of us have discussed the possibility of having one on a monthly basis. The topic of conversation would, from month to month, change and be announced in advance. We would need a minimum of 6 to 8 people to attend any session for it to be productive. The location could also rotate to accommodate multiple hosts. If you're interested in participating or hosting, please contact ye programme director.

The "Pizza SIG Hall of Fame" has been added to our home page, based on slice-ratings we finally began collecting formally about a year ago. If you have a favorite pizzeria you think would qualify, be sure to let us know, so we can have a Pizza SIG there. And if you're out on the fringe of the chapter, we'll try to schedule it for a summer or autumn month, when the driving is pleasant for anyone who has to go a long distance.

We're going to need volunteers to help at the Information booth at the Great Hudson Valley Balloon Race. Helping out includes answering questions from the general public (don't worry, if you've never done this at the festival before, we'll train you), helping sell items which raise money for the scholarship fund, and watching the balloons. If you're a morning person, you may want to come to the early launching. Call or e-mail me if you want to learn more.

In May, members of our neighboring chapter to the north, MONNY, will join us for a day at the world's largest kaleidoscope, in Mt. Tremper, followed by a meal at the restaurant on the premises, The Spotted Dog. This would be a great event for the youngsters too.

Since its debut in the early 90's, Terrace™, by Siler/Siler Ventures, has been considered one of the best new abstract strategy games. It has also made Games Magazine's top 100 games list every year since. It's one of those games to which the phrases "simple yet elegant" and "easy to learn, difficult to master" apply.

The power struggle in Terrace is based on two basic concepts: bigger is better, and higher is better. The board for Terrace is an 8 by 8 grid. Two of the corners are high, the other two are low. The edge squares connecting them, and adjacent inside squares form intermediate levels, hence terraces (it's easier to understand if you could actually see the board). Each player has a set of hemispherical pieces of four different sizes. One of the smallest sized pieces is known as the "T" piece, and it has a "T" on it. You win at Terrace by either maneuvering your T piece to the opposite corner of the board or by capturing your opponent's T piece.

There are only four types of movement in Terrace: Movement up, movement down, movement along a terrace, and capture. Any piece may capture another piece of equal or smaller size if it is diagonally above the piece to be captured. A captured piece is removed from the board. You can even capture one of your own pieces, an interesting tactic I haven't seen in many other games.

Terrace can be played as a 2-player game, with long and short versions, or a 4-player game. The average game lasts between 20 and 60 minutes. It can be found at better gaming stores and can be purchased for approximately $30.

But perhaps the cleverest strategy with Terrace concerns its marketing. The game box says, "Long after computers have mastered chess, they will still be pondering ... [Terrace]". That isn't necessarily true, since a shareware version of Terrace has been available for at least a year. Its other claim to fame is that Terrace was featured on Star Trek: The Next Generation™, on several episodes its final two years, being played by crew members in the lounge area, Ten-Forward™. Will the game really be around in the 23rd century? Let me know.

Greetings, Fellow Trivians! Two things to bring to view this month. First, our rules. Only correctly submitted answers by the specified deadline will be judged. Either hardcopy (on paper) or ethercopy (see point #2 below). All answers at once; not some of the answers today and the rest next week. Tell me your answers at an event and I'll forget them. Miss the deadline, miss your chance. On debatable answers, if you can prove your point, I may re-evaluate. Otherwise, the decision of the most omnipotent judge (ME!) is final. On submitted questions, give the answer and its source with your question. I have been lax with the references in previous years and painted myself into corners because of it. Starting this year, please give the source of your answers for your questions if you wish them to be considered.

Second point, the electronic age has hit this column. You can now submit your answers and questions via the Internet. My e-mail address is jelacic@mhv.net so you can now U.S.mail or e-mail your answers and questions to me.

Too soon for March's answers. Here are this month's questions:

Q11: Which town can boast of "lions and tigers and pistons, oh my!"?

Q12: Who starred in what is considered the first "talkie" movie?

Q13: When were the first women FBI agents sworn in (+/- 2 yrs)?

Q14: Who wrote "The Maltese Falcon"?

Q15: In which field of study would you find a pillar, a sound box and feet?

Q16: In Monopoly, what Avenues are yellow?

Q17: Which of the 5 Iroquois nations is not the name of a county in New York State? (Submitted by Bill Zigo)

Q18: What tree has all 5 vowels in its name? (Submitted by Helen Schimpf)

Q19: Who gave the longest uninterrupted filibustering speech ever recorded in the Senate and how long was it (+/- 30 minutes)? (Submitted by David Nuss)

Q20: How many multi-platinum albums (2 million copies) did Elvis have? (Submitted by Dave Cardall)

Send your answers and authenticated questions to TRIVIA CONTEST c/o Jim Jelacic by April 30.

This pun was adapted from a clipping we received from Ellen Bauer in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania.

A newspaper columnist who felt he was overworked decided to have himself cloned. That way, each clone took on only half the daily load. But over time, the clone developed a penchant for vulgarity. His language was so flagrant that the editor threatened to fire the columnist. Desperate, the columnist wondered how to eliminate his foul-mouthed duplicate. Legally, there was no problem. Since it is not another person, it is not technically murder. Nor is it suicide, since one will still be alive.

So the columnist took the clone to the top of a skyscraper and administered fatal push. Suddenly, from behind him, a voice boomed, "You're under arrest!"

He turned and asked, "What's the charge?"

"Making an obscene clone fall."

Send your groaners to PUN c/o Jim Jelacic.

In February/March, I mentioned Saturn, Mars, Jupiter and Comet Hale-Bopp as observing projects. Did anyone try these?

The Planets: In April, Mars is really the only planet worth looking for. It's just past its closest and brightest to us for the next 2 years, and it's already well up in the South East sky by nightfall. Mars, having a slight atmosphere, can look very different from one day to the next. Global dust storms have been known to cover Mars for months at a time. The winds on Mars can reach 1,000 miles an hour, but the atmosphere is so thin, it wouldn't even be able to knock you over! I have a whole slide show on 'The winds of Mars', if anyone wants to borrow it.

Comet Hale-Bopp has lived up to its billing! The comet is VERY easy to spot in the sky now, and April is 'prime time'. The diameter of the solid mass of the comet is thought to be about 100 miles, making it one of the largest ever seen! It's 1,000 times larger than Halley's Comet!!! To get a good fix on where to look for our celestial visitor, call the MHAA Hotline (see below). You will also be able to hear when and where we'll be having observing sessions. The comet has to be seen in a telescope to be truly appreciated! There are several home pages where amazing photographs of the Comet can be viewed, www.halebopp.com being one of them.

Other April events: On the 3rd, the Moon will be very close to Jupiter at 3 am. On the evening of the 10th, the moon passes very close to the bright star Aldebaran. On the night of the 18th, the moon will be very close to Mars.

Astro News: It seems that Asteroids have been all the rage in the press lately. There have been several shows on TV, some of them good, some bad. I taped a good one recently, and this and the Hubble Mission Summary show are on a single tape, if you'd like to borrow it. Another noteworthy item I just read is that the first extrasolar planet 'discovered' a few years ago, may not actually exist at all! I have the details if you're interested.

The April Meteor shower is called the Lyrids. It takes place the night of the 21st. Look for meteors coming from the Constellation Lyra, which houses Vega, (pronounced vEEga), the brightest star in the spring sky!

Upcoming MHAA Events:

4/04/97 - 8:00 PM	Outdoor meeting at Wilcox Park (make up next night)
4/08/97 - 8:00 PM	Outdoor meeting at SUNY New Paltz
4/12/97 - 8:00 PM	Outdoor meeting at Bowdoin Park
4/15/97 - 7:30 PM	Indoor meeting at Vassar College.  (Call the Hotline for details and Hale-Bopp observing session information)

Call 473-7602 for the MHAA Hotline: Information, Astronomy News, and 'Astronomy Trivia'! Would you like to borrow a telescope from the Club for a month? Let me know! We've got several 'loaner' scopes that are very easy to use. We have lots of other Astro stuff to lend as well!

Next Month: May brings lots of planetary and lunar conjunctions. We'll have another Meteor shower, and an old favorite Comet returns! Clear skies!  Tom Rankin

Have you ever wondered why there aren't more fish products for breakfast? Well, your wait is over!  Now there's new Calimarios!     Yes, it's Calimarios-- If your kids won't eat them, your cat will! And you don't have to worry about Calimarios going soggy in milk-- they're already soggy!   (Artwork by Eric Kollenberg)

Cryptogram Answers:

Easy:

Inflation is when you have money to burn and can't afford the matches.

Hard:

One reason experience is such a good teacher is that it doesn't allow dropouts.