Mid-Mensan The Newsletter of Mid-Hudson Mensa

March 1998

Help Wanted! No experience necessary. Mid-Hudson Mensa needs approximately 4 people to volunteer to help read and rate essays for the Mensa Scholarship Contest. Two people have volunteered so far but your help would be welcomed. The contest ends this month, and the reading of essays is done soon after. Please help! (Will those two brave people who volunteered before please contact me again?)

I've been thinking about the anniversary of Mid-Hudson Mensa and my career in Mensa. Do you remember how you became a member? I do. I met Ron Ruemmler outside of a friend's house in New Jersey, and he invited me to his apartment to see his collection of games. My thought was that this was a new line if ever I heard one. Naturally I informed my friend where I'd be in case I did not return in a reasonable amount of time and my body was found later. Ron really did have hundreds of games. It turned out he was (and is) a Mensa member from Central New Jersey, and he took me to several events. I then discovered the camaraderie of Mensa. Here were people I could have fun with, who were non-judgmental about my lack of ability to play computer games, people who enjoyed words and plays on words. I was hooked.

My next problem was joining. I knew I qualified; I had been in special programs in school and had also been the one who did the averages for all the graduating seniors in my high school (that also meant that I had access to my own records and knew my own IQ). Naturally the school refused to release this information until I quoted the Freedom of Information Act to them and again requested the information. It came by return mail. I submitted it, joined and have had many interesting encounters since.

Ronnie Brown was the first loc-sec I met. She was (and is) a delight. I remember the holiday parties at her house where guests were encouraged to bring a gift for a grab bag they made themself. The one I remember most was the member who was an undertaker who brought embalming fluid.

Some of the more interesting meetings I've attended locally include one on crossword puzzles, Ida Kronberg's meetings on dancing (long before line dancing became popular), wine tasting, games nights, Wicca and many many more. I even remember one memorable event at the William's Club when Mid-Hudson Mensa was still part of Greater New York, where over 100 members took an IQ test so that Omni magazine could norm the test against a group of Mensans. Where else but in this organization would you have people volunteer to take a test for fun and then argue for what seemed like hours to justify their answers? It was fun.

I hope your memories of Mensa are also fond ones. It's renewal time. Don't let this be the year you let your membership lapse. Instead, join in some of the fun. Volunteer to help at FSM if you live near Poughkeepsie. It takes about 2 hours and includes pizza. Volunteer to help read essays, please. Most of all be proud to be a member, and enjoy yourself.

I recently had the pleasure of going through every past issue of the Mid-Mensan. I enjoyed seeing the newsletter grow and evolve into what it is today. I've reprinted several articles from back issues. Where possible, I've indicated when they first appeared in our newsletter, though some are mentioned here. When possible, I also tried to recreate the font for the title and author of that article.

The cover was designed by Denise Every-Outwater, and it originally appeared on our June 1991 issue, while Diane Semanske was editor. This was the first cover I saw which made me say, "Wow!". This was the first of 3 covers by Denise, and those covers earned our newsletter its first-ever nomination in the newsletter awards contest, for artwork.

The calendar graphic first appeared in the May 1984 newsletter. Like many of the earliest newsletter drawings, it was designed by Nancy Keyes-Crosby. The marmot in Betsy's column first burst through one of my columns as loc sec in our infamous marmot-free issue of April 1995 while Ron McMurdy was editor. Any marmots you see in this issue are reprinted from that one, and all were created by Alan Hauck. The owl hunting mice was drawn by Kathie VanLeer while she was editor. It first appeared in the October 1987 issue. Ron reprinted it in our 10th anniversary issue, April 1993. By the way, the FFF in the drawing was for Fourth Friday Feast, an event back then.

Personality Types was the first of 3 such articles. This one was reprinted in several newsletters. But somewhere along the way, some entries were removed. I'm not sure why. Perhaps because they used brand names without trademarks (I've added them this time). Maybe because the editor considered them controversial to Mensa. Perhaps just for space. In any event, several versions, original and edited, were reprinted. Ironically, another group received a newsletter award nomination for their copy of the article. We did not submit that particular issue of the newsletter for that year's contest.

IQ: Intrusive Query? was written by Marianne Abrams when she was our chapter's gifted children contact. Barbara Neumann and I collaborated on The Best of Miss Mensa. Did some letters look unfamiliar? You might not have ever seen them! Even though they were selected by Barbara and me, at the time Ron McMurdy was editor, and he had the final word as to what went into each issue.

We've had several reprints. Jim Jelacic's "Lovers' Trivia" was reprinted in the February 1998 issue of "Tampa Bay Sounding", the newsletter of Tampa Bay Mensa. My November 1997 editor's column was reprinted in the December issue of InterLoc as "Mensa Is Community". And Kristine Bellino of Kingston has a letter in the January/February issue of the Mensa Bulletin.

Here's one Bill Zigo sent to me from Lynne Masters-Lee of Georgia.

Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas. When asked why he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied: "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Send your favorite groaner to PUNS c/o Jim Jelacic.

Welcome back to Mathilde Hochmeister of Millbrook, Patrick Rogan of Highland Falls and Barak Saltz of New Paltz. Welcome new members Michael McInerney of Wappingers Falls and Martin Davis of Hunter. Welcome newly transferred member Capt. Charles Anthony Pfaff Jr. from Menlo Park, CA to West Point NY. Welcome to member by preference Merrill Loechner of New Milford, CT.

Farewell to a Burke: William Burke has left Rosendale NY for Latham, NY.

We are sad to report the passing of member Carl Altman, who died of a heart attack. Carl, who had owned a condo in New Paltz and was living in LaGrangeville, had right from the start been active in the group; he started the page on Games in the newsletter and had a ready smile for all.
[It's doubly regrettable to report this in our 15th anniversary issue; after reading many of our newsletters from the early 80s, I discovered just how active Carl was during our chapter's early years. - Ed.]

Easy:

UFCFY WOR VGG RVZVYYVA NUTRJKUH TVO

DNU HFR PVZFVUF FQPF RV BV GVY TVO

RVBNT.

Hard - no punctuation, grouped in 5:

XUKNF WMQKN FTRXU SBNRX GSNGS TKNFH

NFRQI SSQMR NBENT SENIS K

Answers near the end of this newsletter.

The classic test for the optimist/pessimist is to place the subject in a room in front of a table on which there is a 12-ounce glass containing 6 ounces of water. The optimist will say the glass is half full, the pessimist, half empty. Gary Larson expanded it to 4 personality types in a Far Side strip by adding personality #3: "Half full... No! Wait! Half Empty!... No, half... What was the question?" And personality #4: "Hey! I ordered a cheeseburger!"

Alan and I have taken it to the extreme with observations of some other personality types:
 
Hypochondriac - How long has the water been standing there?
Tyrant - It's my glass and my water!
Paranoid - All right, what did you put in it?
Blonde - What's a personality type?
Heloise - If you put eggshells in it overnight, you'll have a more nutritious food for your plants.
Auto Repairman - It's low on water, and it needs a new set of shocks.
Husband of expectant mother - Boil it! Boil it!
Environmentalist - The glass would be full of water if the government had been more strict in enforcing regulations on major industrial corporations.
Madonna - Look! Half a brassiere!
Sherlock Holmes - The absence of fingerprints on the glass implies the culprit probably used a straw.
Another Blonde - Is it regular or diet?
Mensan - Skimpiest hospitality suite I've ever seen!
Existentialist - The glass has decided it will contain this much water.
Bart Simpson - I didn't do it. It was like that when I got here.
Nihilist - What does it matter; it's all going to evaporate eventually anyway.
Hydraulic engineer - It's at over 50% of its practical operating capacity.
Mad Scientist - Igor! You've left the lid off! It's escaped again!
Dog - I'm not drinking out of THAT!
President Clinton - I sipped, but I didn't swallow.
Homeowner - At least the leak in the roof is contained until the plumber arrives.
Anal Retentive - Let me put a coaster under the glass.
Old geezer - When I was a boy, we were so poor, we had to drink from puddles.
Second geezer - You had puddles? We had to lick rocks.
Third geezer - Hey! Who took my teef?
Our Editor - Don't drink that anywhere near the proofreading table.
Our Loc Sec - Where's the Fizzies®?
RVC - Where's the Alka Seltzer®?
Rush Limbaugh - It's a fluoridation conspiracy.

Nancy Keyes-Crosby brings her unique brand of tips to our newsletter:

Do you find weekend chores a time consuming bore? Well, here are some of my tried and true methods of eliminating these nuisances.

Vacuuming and dusting: Don't bother with these at all until you are expecting company or the equivalent thereof. You see, dust does not accumulate infinitely; it peaks out. It cannot get six, or ten or whatever inches deep. It is NOT snow. There is just so much of it and no more. So if you only dust every six months or so, you will get exactly the same results as dusting every week.

Pet fur: But, you say, what about vacuuming for cat hair? This is so easy!! Shave the Cat. Eliminate the source of trouble. Think how happy the cat will be, also free of chores; no more constant licking and grooming, no more worrying about - ugh - hairballs! [P.S. When I asked Nancy about dog fur, her response was, "Same thing! Shave the cat!"]

Kitchen Chores: You can save all kinds of time and aggravation if you buy two dishwashers. You don't have room? Of course you do. Tear out the cabinets - you won't need them. Washer #1 will be full of clean dishes and utensils; as you use them you put them in washer #2 until it is full. Then you run it through the cleaning cycle and reverse the process, using the clean items from #2 and putting them in #1. You will never have to store things in cabinets again.

Your Stove: Never bother to clean it at all. When you have your next party, someone will bring something to cook. As soon as they use the oven, all the old grease, dirt, etc., even if it is left over from a party months before, will burn off. There will be some smoke and such, but don't panic - just open a window and reassure your guests that this is normal housekeeping.

Laundry: We all use a system similar to the conventional dish washing process described above. We wear what's clean and wash what's dirty. NO NO NO. You must just buy new clothes and recycle the old through Goodwill. This is not expensive at all. Why do you think you have credit cards? God would not have made them if She didn't want you to use them.

If you think over the principles expressed here, I'm sure you can find other ways to apply them to your own lifestyle. You can ignore the weekend chores and get out more to Mensa events. This will also keep your mind off any nagging guilt you may have about your new found freedom from boring housework.

Next Time: Tips to recover from the above tips, plus toupees for your cat.

Send your smart tips to: Living Smarter, c/o Bill Zigo. As always, if you don't send me your tips, you'll have to put up with mine.

Picture this: Sophie and Rita in Rita's kitchen for lunch.

Sophie: My Alfred has an I.Q. of 149. He's so bright, it's scary (looks skyward and rolls eyes.)
Rita: (To herself. "Wonder who he takes after.")
Rita: How proud you must be.
Sophie: Oh yes. He's only 5½, but he talks like a 12 year old.
Rita: Wow. That's something (suppressing gag reflex with great difficulty.)
Sophie: So tell me, when are you going to get little Wilma tested?
Rita: Tested: For what?
Sophie: I.Q. of course. You do know what it is, don't you?
Rita: Intrusive Query?
Sophie: No! No! No! (Contempt and disbelief in her voice are so thick you could cut it with a knife.)
Rita: No. I haven't had her tested.
Sophie: Why not? She's such a bright girl. (Though not as bright as Alfred.)

Same kitchen, 1 month later...

Rita: I had Wilma tested last week.
Sophie: Really? And?
Rita: Wilma has an IQ of 155 (barely controlling a smirk.)
Sophie: Oh, isn't that nice, but you realize IQ scores don't really mean much (feigning breeziness and nonchalance.)

If IQ stood for Intrusive Query, Sophie's would be astronomical. Other than nauseating her friends and acquaintances with Alfred's IQ, what else does she do with it? Well, she told her mother, and her mother told all her friends, etc. Oh, yes. One other recipient of this piece of data is Alfred, who knows his IQ and uses it as a weapon in taunting his friends and classmates.

While the actual people in the previous scenario are fictitious, the incident is a composite of actual incidents and conversations observed by this writer.

IQ testing does serve a purpose, when used properly for entry in a program (or joining Mensa.) In the wrong hands, it can be very destructive. Consider the child with a 91 IQ. Without knowledge of his* IQ the person might thrive with diligence and support. Now arm this child and his misinformed parents with his IQ score and ponder the consequences. He can now be labeled and categorized as low average intelligence, therefore limiting his and other's expectations of him.

Unless there is a specific, valid purpose for testing, parents' time and money would be better spent providing educational and enjoyable experiences for the child. Take him to the circus, a Muppet Show or museum so the child can enjoy life and become a well rounded person. Moreover, it would be further beneficial if people like Sophie would spend time enjoying their children instead of exhibiting them.

* The masculine form of pronoun was used for simplicity. My comments apply to both genders and can be used interchangeably.

Greetings, Fellow Trivians! Here we are again. Time to announce the winner of the Trivia '97 contest. But first, here are the answers to the December and January/February questions:

Q81: What Central American country about the size of Tennessee was home to the Mayan Empire 1000 years before they became a Spanish colony in 1524?
A81: Guatemala.

Q82: What is the longest running TV show on the Fox network, easily beating the Flintstones record of 6 seasons?
A82: The Simpsons since 1989.

Q83: The last major German offensive of WWII began December 16, 1944 as the German forces punched through Allied defenses in the Ardennes. What is this battle called?
A83: The Battle of the Bulge.

Q84: What Victorian novel has the adopted Heathcliff taking revenge after being rejected by Catherine because he is socially unacceptable?
A84: Wuthering Heights.

Q85: In what field of study would you find a nucleolus, a ribosome and a chloroplast?
A85: Biology - these are parts of a plant cell.

Q86: A "NO STANDING" traffic sign means A) you may only stop temporarily to load or unload merchandise or passengers, B) you may only stop temporarily to load or unload passengers, or C) you may stop only in order to obey a traffic sign, signal or officer?
A86: B; "NO PARKING" refers to A, "NO STOPPING" refers to C.

Q87: On the ceiling of Carnegie Hall, there are two concentric rings of lights. How many bulbs (±5) are in the outer ring?
A87: 32.

Q88: When doesn't an owl give a hoot?
A88: 1) when he has a mate or 2) when it is not mating season.

Q89: In the 19th century, astronomers were looking for a planet they were planning on naming Vulcan. Where was this planet supposedly located?
A89: Between the sun and Mercury. Mercury's orbit had an unexplainable wobble in it which was attributed to the gravitational pull of a planet even closer to the sun and was hard to see. This wobble was eventually explained by Einstein's theory of relativity. Continued

Q90: It was first explored by Marcos de Niza, a Franciscan, and Estevan, a black slave, and was ceded to Mexico in 1821. What state was taken over by the US in 1848 and became a state in 1912?
A90: Arizona.

Q91: What classic Frank Capra movie was the expanded short story "The Greatest Gift" by Philip Van Doren Stern?
A91: It's a Wonderful Life.

Q92: If history began with writing, the first chapter was written on clay tablets where?
A92: Mesopotamia in 4000 BC; approximately 1000 years before Egypt.

Q93: Which Irish author perfected the "stream of consciousness" technique in the novel "Finnegan's Wake?"
A93: James Joyce.

Q94: In what field of study would you find a dial, a gnomon and a shadow?
A94: Timekeeping - these are parts of a sundial.

Q95: He was born Henry McCarty in Manhattan, NY in 1859 and didn't change his name until 1875. Who was killed by Pat Garret in 1881 at 21 years of age?
A95: William "Billy the Kid" Bonney.

Q96: In a famous mystery novel by Agatha Christie, a girl by the name of Socks is characterized by her almost obsessive-compulsive use of what word beginning with "S?"
A96: Subtle - from Christie's The Seven Dials Mystery.

Q97: What was the first radio station in New York state?
A97: WGY, in Schenectady.

Q98: Who was born Karola Ruth Siegel in Frankfurt, Germany in 1928?
A98: Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

Q99: What is Zsa Zsa Gabor's original first name?
A99: Sari.

Q100: What day is recognized as Leif Eriksson day? (Hint: check your 1994 Mid-Mensan issues)
A100: October 9.

Q101: The computer language BASIC is an acronym. What does it stand for?
A101: Beginner's All-purpose Symbolic Instruction Code.

Q102: What is the only country in the world to have a one-color flag, and what color is it?
A102: Libya; it's green.

Q103: Who was the last pope raised to sainthood?
A103: Pope Pius X, who was pope from 1903-1914.

Q104: Is the banana tree a tree? If not, what is it?
A104: No; it's a herb.

Q105: Miss Ottis regrets she is unable to lunch today. Why?
A105: Refers to a Jerome Kern song - Miss Ottis is being hung for shooting the man who seduced her the night before.

Q106: How many were arrested during Woodstock '94?
A106: 16.

Q107: Where is the Mary Powell?
A107: What's left of her hull lies in the mud on the south side of the Roundout [That's in Kingston, for you non-locals - Ed.] east of the train trestle.

Q108: What country received most of Europe's seismic activity?
A108: Greece.

Q109: What is the largest dam in Germany?
A109: Eder.

Q110: How many beads on a Catholic rosary; how many stitches in a baseball?
A110: 108 - Source, 1988 movie Bull Durham.

The winner for December is the Langevin family of Wappingers Falls with 8 correct answers. Les Herring and Ed Quinn both had 6 correct answers. The winner for January/February is Les Herring with 10 correct answers. Tom Rankin had 9 correct answers. I received 2 e-mail submissions but they were unsigned. (Please put your name and not your e-mail address on your answers.) Best Off-the-Wall answer was Les' answer for BASIC: "Bulls**t Assigned to Stupid Idiots into Computers."

And the winner of the Trivia 1997 contest is: Les Herring with 67 correct answers out of 110 questions. The runners-up are Ed Quinn with 60, The Kosowski Family with 59 and Tom Rankin with 27. A total of 12 Trivians participated. My thanks and gratitude to all who submitted questions and answers. You make this contest possible. Les wins a $15 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble Booksellers. Staying with tradition, Les can submit answers for this year's questions, but he will not be eligible for the prize.

Here is the start of the new Trivia contest, now in its 6th year. A review of the rules will be next month but do submit this month. It's a clean slate. Go to your corner and come out fighting. Good luck to all!

In keeping with the anniversary issue, these questions are from the past 5 contests. So, if you've been watching, you know all of the answers.

Q1: What do Singapore, Zanzibar, Morocco, Utopia, Rio, Bali and Hong Kong have in common?

Q2: In cribbage, what is a 19 point hand worth?

Q3: Which field of study do you find doric, corinthian and ionic orders?

Q4: Who was Tippecanoe of the slogan "Tippecanoe and Tyler, too?"

Q5: If you were told a person won a "Hugo", what is this person's profession?

Q6: What river does the Grand Coulee Dam control?

Send your answers and questions (with answers) to TRIVIA CONTEST c/o Jim Jelacic by March 31.

Classic struggles for dominance on a worldwide scale have been divided this way. National sports are often grouped and/or pitted with this division. With the most prominent geographic feature of Mid-Hudson Mensa's geography being the Hudson River, it's natural that there be East and West factions. There is clear and irrefutable evidence which side is better.

The State of New York in its infinite wisdom chooses to let anyone travel to the west side of the River for free, and unscrutinized. There being nothing of great value there, this is a wise and economically sound policy. On the other hand, the positioning of toll booths for eastbound emigration allows the discrete inspection and scrutinization of all who pass by the Hudson River immigration officers who appear to everyone as simple toll collectors. The exacting of a small toll allows this process to be self-funding.

If the native Americans only had instituted such a wise immigration policy they would still control this continent.

For those of you who were unaware of the above or doubt its veracity, the short answer is: the west is the side New Jersey is on!

In February, I mentioned the planets as great observing targets. How many did you see? Did you see any of the eclipse? Send me your observations! I'll have my report next month.

March: In the morning sky, Venus slowly passes by Uranus and Neptune in the Southeast sky. Jupiter starts to become visible in the morning at the end of the month. In the evening, Mars is slowly sinking into the West a little more each night. But rising up out of the West a little more each night is Mercury to take its place. They pass each other on the 10th. Saturn is still well placed in the WSW in the early evening.

Other March Events:
3/04 - The moon will pass in front of (occult) Aldebaran around 7:00 pm.
3/20 - Spring starts in the northern Hemisphere.
3/26 - The moon occults Jupiter at 4:55 am. This is worth getting up for!
3/28 - The moon will be 20.1 hours old at sunset, an extremely thin crescent.
If you see it, let me know.

Astro News: Astronomers have reported that the surface of the sun erupts frequently with small short-lived explosions being called "blinkers". Unlike sunspots, which appear near the Sun's equator, these explosions occur over the entire Sun.

Comet Temple-Tuttle may still be visible by the time you read this. Even if it's not, it's worth mentioning, because it's the comet that causes the Leonid meteor shower. Now that the comet has passed through the inner solar system, we may be due for a meteor storm in November!

Upcoming MHAA Events (for Southeastern New York State):

3/17 - 7:30 PM Indoor meeting at SUNY - We'll be talking about the Eclipse
               that took place down in the tropics.
3/27 - 7:30 PM Outdoor meeting at Wilcox Park - "Messier Marathon"

Next Time: April brings the Lyrid Meteor shower and who knows what else!

Tom Rankin

MHAA Home Page: http://www.geocities.com/CapeCanaveral/5679
Check out the (nearly?) weekly trivia quiz!

Cryptogram Answers:

Easy:
Never put off tomorrow anything you can get someone else to do for you today.

Hard:
If you had your life to live over, you would need a lot more money.